My Version of Motherhood

As a child I loved to play with baby dolls.  I wanted to be a mother.  I loved babies.  By the time I was a teen, doctors told me I’d never bear children.  I have a genetic disorder called Turner’s Syndrome.  I never gave up hope though.  I believed in miracles.  When I was a young, married, woman we looked into fertility treatment.  It hadn’t advanced to the point of in vitro fertilization yet.  And, since I didn’t have any eggs, fertility drugs would have no effect.  So we looked into adoption.  I was so desperate for a child that I asked how to speed up the process.  A 2 year waiting list sounded like an eternity.  I asked about adopting an older child.  They told me that a couple should adopt a newborn as their first child.  At the time I thought that was odd and wondered why.  I could love a child of any age!

Fast-forward, new husband who has children.  Two of his children were teens.  The youngest was 6.  They didn’t need another mother.  They had a mother who loved them.  Children need to know how important they are to the parents who raised them from an infant.  I was perfectly fine being a step-mom.  I would never compete with their mom for her place in their lives.  The children have always been very kind to me. Mother’s Day is the Sunday before my birthday.  I remember the first Mother’s Day that I got a card and gift from our oldest child (daughter).  She came in and put the gift bag on the counter.  I thanked her for the early birthday gift.  She said, “That’s for Mother’s Day.”  I don’t know if she noticed my eyes tear up.  But I was really touched.  My natural “motherly instincts” didn’t come until my first grandchild though (this same daughter’s daughter).  I didn’t even realize it until I experienced the growth and development of a child from the time she was an infant.  About the time she was 6 I realized that I’d been more of a 2nd dad to my husband’s children – hahaha – those poor kids!

Doesn’t she look like me?!

I think the spirit of an infant awakens the spirit of a mother; and probably a father but I can’t speak to that.  I don’t think it matters how that child comes to be part of your family.  Race doesn’t even matter.  I know several mixed race adoptive families.  God creates families in many different ways.

Awww!

Fast-forward again and I’m the grandmother of almost 7 beautiful children.  The oldest is almost 17 and the youngest (from the same mother) is almost born.  Not bearing children was hard on me until I loved our teenagers.  That made me wonder if I could have survived the heartbreak of my own children becoming independent.  The thought of those years still brings a lump to my throat.

Today, Mother’s Day 2012, I am grateful, not only, for my own mother whose love, support and example I still depend on.  I am also grateful to the mother of my children for giving them birth and a loving relationship.  I am grateful to the mothers of my grandchildren for the loving sacrifices they make each day to raise their children and love their husbands. I am grateful for my mother-in-law for accepting me into her family and teaching me about her son. 🙂  And I am grateful for my husband. Without him I would never have had a family of my own.

Although no one has ever called me “Mom”, I will always be called “Grandma” by (at least) 7 beautiful children.

I hope your version of Mother’s Day is as great as mine!

I’m spending mine on the beach with my wonderful in-laws!   🙂

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “My Version of Motherhood”

  1. Oh Jo–I miss you so much! You were the very best friend/roommate I ever had (not counting Andrew of course!) I’m sure you are a ‘great’ grandma. You are so full of love and life.

    1. Awww – Thanks Roxie! I miss you too. I know you are a great mother and hope you are thanked today for all you do for your family. You military-moms are a special breed! You go above and beyond for your family. I love you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s